sitting in my old stomping grounds, eau cleezy, next to my fran, just passin time and waiting to hang with some really dear friends. and here's what's on my mind today.
well, thanks for askin, i'm doing better than last time. a bit. there are still hard things in life, in my heart, and on my mind. but today's been good. it was nice to focus on my brother-in-law, dave, this morning, and get to celebrate his graduation with his fam & my sister. and the anticipation of seeing friends i haven't seen in forever and a DAY feels really good too. plus i love eau claire. i have such a very special place in my heart for this city. no matter how much it's changed every time i come back...
this week was hard for me. hard for my fam. remember how last time i said that our family dog, gracie, would probably die pretty soon? it happened this week. i'll always remember this past tuesday. i had a meeting over by my parents' house that morning and decided to work from their house the rest of the day. i had seen gracie on sunday and she had not been doing well, for a while. my parents were told by the vet about a month ago that she had heart failure and that's why she would cough a lot (because her lungs were filled with fluid), but towards the end she was coughing and wheezing more than she wasn't, and we could tell it was taking it's toll on her. if dogs could cry, she was crying. her little face, still so sweet and gentle, told us she was so sad. so i happened to work from my parents' house tuesday, and when i got there my parents were both working from home in the office and told me they were going to put gracie down that day. i was the only one they told, because i was there. mom was weepy all day. as the hour came closer and then finally came, me, mom, and dad were sobbing. oh man. it probably sounds a little silly to you because she's a dog, but you don't know gracie. she meant so much to all of us. i had her in my life since i was twelve! i'll never forget holding her, whispering goodbye and thanking her for such a sweet life with her, and handing her over to my heartbroken and devastated dad. if you think of it, my mom and dad are especially sad still and maybe just ask Jesus for Him to hold them a little closer these days? my sweet and wonderful fran comforted me so tenderly that night, allowing us to skip small group and snuggling me, bringing me snacks.
okay, something different to talk about.
hmm. oh, something i realized about the psalms, is that sometimes i have a hard time reading them and relating because often david or other psalmists say things like "search me and see if there is any fault in me, give me over to my enemies if i have not been faithful to You" (not exactly like that) but where they talk about how good they are and how blameless. it's hard for me, because i want a psalm that says "God, i've been unfaithful to You and turned away from You again. i'm so sorry. because of Your goodness and beauty, rescue me from myself and make me close to You again." i want a psalm like that. i'm not writing off all of the psalms, just something i've noticed sometimes. we're not all blameless okay, david?
we're gonna head out soon. hey there are some beautiful things ahead. press into the warmth and grace of Jesus, friend.
i'll be back soon. thanks for reading.