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a spattering of my thoughts lately.

4/8/2015

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when i sit on my futon, i get happy wafts of dirt every once in a while.  like, picture the plant/flower store your mom made you go to with her when you were young (ha, i loved it!)... picture that smell.  because in my easter basket... (yes, i am twenty-one years old and was on the floor opening all of the kitchen cabinets looking for my easter basket on easter morn... so? :)) my mom put a little grow-your-own-tomato cup filled with dirt and seeds for me to "practice on," considering my unfortunate track record with killing plants.  so, there it sits in my windowsill behind me.  and here i sit in proud anticipation for any sign of life under that dirt.

josh garrels' new album is straight up GOLD.  it's all i'm listening to around these parts since yesterday.  my favorite songs on there are "at the table" and "benediction," but i also just decided that if the LORD ever blesses me in that way, i'd just love to dance to "heaven's knife" with my husband.

it's amazing how good longboarding is for my soul!  i know that sounds so intense haha, but today i only had time for a quick cruisaroo with ethan and cass and it was all i could do to not giggle when i first got on that board as we left towers.  it's such joy for me, especially to do with so many buddies!  so thanks, God, for longboarding. (:

yesterday as i was walking to class with yui and telling him like i've told a million other people how i don't know where on God's green earth my life is going and how much that freaks me out and how overwhelming that is, he said "i am not worried about your future, ah-lexi." and it's crazy what hearing those words did for my burdened heart!  you need people to tell you they believe in you, ya know?  yui, ya just don't know what peace you gave me, friend.

i only have a little over a month left in eau claire.  i want to gulp it all in deeply and thankfully and joyfully!  i thought i was gonna cry on my way up the hill after night class, just thinkin, rememberin, and smilin in a mix of God-i-can't-leave-this-place-help-i-love-these-people-and-these-memories-too-much-what-am-i-gonna-do.  MAYDAY.

God never leaves us.  it's the truest thing i know, deep down to my core, but it's also the thing i doubt most.  how can this be?  what's my deal?

this is the most beautiful thing i've read in a while.

i love reading poems.  i love it so much.

i get so stuck in my self-absorbed head, it's scary.  oh, Lord, You have much work to do.


"come on home, home to Me, and I will hold you in My arms in joyful peace!  there will always, always be a place for you at My table.  return to me."

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    "aslan, aslan. dear aslan,” sobbed lucy. “at last.”
    ​
    c.s. lewis

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