it's been a minute!
here's a list of things i am grateful for...
...the pretty fog this mornin as i was leaving for work. for the birds singin & the bright green of the trees.
...the bikers i saw commuting to work. wish i was that cool. maybe one day.
...the abundance of things i've been provided with. i've never lacked what i need. God's really gracious. always been fed, always had friends (not only friends, but friends of the highest caliber!), family of the highest caliber, always've had clothes & shoes & homes. and then some!
...reuniting with friends who are really more like sisters and feeling like no time had passed. that is special!
...friends who are willing to travel great distances to be with me.
...for my close friends.. loving me enough to call me out, be on my team, check on me, offer wisdom & counseling, seek me out... never in my life have i experienced being at the mercy of others while offering hard and ugly vulnerability like i have this past week. i'm humbled and yeah, grateful, you could say that.
...for my family, particularly my mom & dad, self-sacrificing, always seeking the good of my sisters and i. asking good questions, guiding and loving.
...for my boy. my dear boy and how he seeks God and seeks counsel from trusted brothers and pursues me and walks with me and wants to be with me. he's so special. so humble and kind and honest and creative and good.
...for my dear Jesus. oh man. what do i even say about Him? where could i possibly start? He is everything good, everything right. when i walk away, when i turn my face, when i choose myself, when i avoid Him, when i'm apathetic and numb and hurtful... He's everything i'm not. He's faithful and steady and firm, He never walks away! never gives up! and really really gentle when i'm most fragile and most disappointing. i might not know much about anything, but one thing i do know of life, one thing i've learned from 25 years on this earth, the LORD, Yahweh, is it. He IS life. there's nothing else. man, i just don't even know what to say. what do you do when you're so ridiculously indebted to Someone and fall so ridiculously short, like, stupidly short, and His love and grace is so ridiculously beyond what is natural... ah. man. tears flowin a little bit. He's peaceful and full of life and gracious. if i could ever be the smallest fraction of all that He is... agh.
...that's it. that's all. and everything else too. i don't deserve any of it. not one little bit.