to say i've learned a lot so far this summer from these two little stinkers is an understatement.  i'm at their house more than i'm at mine and it certainly is not easy work being responsible for a two- and four-year-old, but i've noticed that in these past few days especially, every day i think my heart and love for them multiplies.  i just melt when lucas puts his arms up in the air wanting me to hold him, or when he yells "wexi!!!!" from his crib when he's done napping, or when he falls asleep in the car, or crosses his legs when we're having a picnic, or stops to point to the sun and get excited that it's out (me too, bud! :)).  or when sophia smiles at me while we're playing, or sings along to every. single. word. of "let it go" (that frozen movie song) and her cheesy vbs cd songs, or when she laughs at herself for throwing the words "lightbulb" or "eyeball" randomly into normal conversation, or the way she can't pronounce her r's.  i love these kids.  that's the one thing i asked of God before starting this summer job: that i would develop a deep heart for them, and so far, it's really cool the ways i've seen that happening.  i don't want to paint this glamorous picture though!  these kids hit, fight, whine, poop, spill, yell, and cry and some days i'm ready to be done within the first hour, but ha, hey, isn't that kind of like the way we are as little children before God?  and isn't He so good at loving us through all of our temper tantrums and questions and not understanding and selfishness and overall grody-ness?  i sure am learning a lot and right now, i'm pretty happy that i get to be in their lives for some time.  more thoughts and pics from our little adventures to come, i'm sure (: ... lil nugs. (;

today i met with an old friend and we were reflecting on all of the weddings that are happening around us within our friend groups and both commented on how much we love that we can say that so many of them are couples who are wholeheartedly following Jesus.  couples that we are proud to stand by as they marry each other.  that's how i feel about adam and devyn.  my favorite part about this marriage and this wedding celebration last weekend was that both adam and devyn know that they don't need each other.  neither view the other as their other half that will somehow now make them a complete whole because they found each other.  they both know they're whole in Christ without the other, and their individual identities are secure in Him.  and they're choosing to advance the kingdom of God together and grow towards Him together, and i just don't know what's more beautiful!  i'm so thankful for this demonstration in my life.  two dear ones.  ones i greatly cherish and respect. 

cheers to mr and mrs mollica!  i just know God is so pleased with them!

i sometimes crave cornfields and roads less traveled.  i crave cities, too, but these days my life has been more city than cornfield.  in both of those settings, something in my heart comes alive.  that's how i felt this past weekend when holland and i road tripped to celebrate two dear friends getting married.  holland is one of my favorite humans alive and i hadn't seen her in a whole darn month, so that was an extra JOY!  but it was time i know i'll keep locked away in my mind for a very long time: driving beside endless cornfields, red old-fashioned barns, cows, and sun peaking through trees while listening to lumineers and oh hellos loud.  seriously, just fill me up to the top with my heart languages all in one!

also waupaca, wi, pretty much has a cornfield at every turn.  so i also got to share some precious moments with anna when we drove to the reception, singing michael buble loud and gazing on those darn golden fields.  my soul needed last weekend.  and i am grateful for all of these things.  moments i want to drink in always!  moments that fill with light.  especially when i had been feeling kinda depleted before.

...have quite a knack for taking my breath away.
and for making me tear up a little.
and for making me realize how small i am.
and for making me think about all of the stories that go with each one of the glimpses of glory.
especially when i get to take it all in for three whole hours in a car by myself in the rain, too.

and this song moves me more than any other song ever made, so it seemed fitting to share another representation of how those sights above make me feel.. with music!

goodnight, friend.

sleep in peace tonight.  and hey, before you do, tell God He's magnificent and you're thankful.  those sights i saw...

p a n e s

s e e k / f i n d

t h i s  c i t y

h a p p y  m e a l

c o l o r

f r i e n d

c o f f e e  s h o p

b r u n c h

s u m m e r

w h i m s i c a l

s w i m

r e a d

f a l l s

p l a y

b r e a k f a s t

s w i n g

w a r m t h

t r e e s

t h e  s p y h o u s e

t o g e t h e r

p a i g e ' s  f o r m a l

p.s. i love you, sidney.

i LOVE the zoo!  i've blogged about it this time and that time last year because it's always been a favorite!  but the people i've gone with are always definitely what makes it.

but this time, there was a little twist... actually two little twists (: ... because i took my nanny kids there on a week day.  i've never explored the zoo with little kids in tow, but needless to say, it was a different experience!  let's just say that this time, my personal enjoyment of what the zoo has to offer was secondary.  also, i think every other nanny/ mom had the same idea that day.. oof.. kids crawlin around everywhere!  that part reeeally wasn't my favorite.  neither was the time i got really excited to take them on the carousel that's in the rides part of the zoo, and little two-year-old lucas looks up at me and says "i have to go potty" while we're standing in line and there's no bathroom in sight..

but after that day, i sure have that much more appreciation and respect for moms and dads.  i kind of think they're super heroes.

but regardless, it sure is a fun time for all, that zoo!
i'd recommend if you're around! 

adventure destination 5: como zoo
1225 estabrook drive, saint paul 55103

^^^ man, they're a lot of work, but they sure are STINKIN CUTE! ^^^

^^^ "sparky the seal show?"  kind of overrated.  but just look at all those little kids!  we might have left early so that we could finally see the rest of the park without so many people everywhere ^^^

the most i'd ever heard them giggle was on that little train! ^^^

^^^ this was before the carousel started and before lucas started crying because he was scared.  i kind of loved holding him while he was scared though, not even gonna deny it. ^^^

^^^ it was my favorite thing turning around to see their sweet little sleeping faces on the drive home!  i think one day, if God ever blesses me in that way, i'd really like being a mom. ^^^

maybe there's a hannah montana song thrown into a mixed cd i made for my car... and maybe it's because i sincerely enjoy the song...

maybe there's a constant rotation of people from eau claire that i think about every day.

maybe i like being twenty-one.  i don't think i've ever felt quite so content in myself and with my age than i am now.

maybe lately i'm speaking more boldly, walking more confidently, and learning how to not live in fear and how to act like a grown-up... and maybe i really like it.  maybe it's happening because God's not done with me!

maybe i am often comforted by the thought that i will never have to bear life without God, because He   will   never    leave.

maybe i like beer.

maybe the city of minneapolis does somethin to my heart every time i'm there.. i crave exploring and just being in the heart of it so much these days!

maybe i parked my car in a parking lot and walked all the way across a bridge over the mississippi river.. just to take a picture because the beauty literally stopped me in my tracks.

maybe i've been laughing at my own jokes a lot these days... maybe no one else is.. (:

maybe i have had too many ugly, whiney, diva moments because i forget a thankful, deep-seeing kind of heart. 

maybe one of the biggest reasons i want a husband one day is so that i can have a life-long adventure buddy.

maybe i eat autumn wheat kashi cereal with coconut milk in a mug every single morning for breakfast.

maybe i practice harmonizing in my car a lot.. and maybe i'm kind of glad no one is with me when i do..

maybe sometimes i'm overwhelmed to the point of tears because of the beauty that is in the souls and places around me, that i'm not sure my heart will be able to handle heaven.

maybe all i've really wanted to do these days is go canoeing.

maybe sometimes i really suck at being the person Jesus has called me to be... maybe i fail at that a lot.

maybe beautiful eulogy's lyrics are aimed right at my heart

maybe i'm already up past my bed time.

maybe i'm gonna go to bed now.



maybe.

winter's laugh.
syd's "sweet as a peach"
ariel's giggles when she sees me
angela licking her bowl of yogurt with her finger at breakfast and prayers that always start with "Father" in the most endearing way.
coral's laugh at me, and always being the one to be with me.
becca's explaining voice
taylor's startled face every time i say his name.
isaac saying "wet and clammy!" always when i say the world is our oyster and that contented sigh he does that settles his shoulders when he joins a group.
the way holland looks around and the way she talks about humans
afton always smiling at me
yui's walk and the way he moves his head from side to side when he laughs at me and says "oh ah-lexi" over & over
emily's specific joking voice



...so much, it kinda hurts.  i'll never be able to tell you the amount that each of these individuals mean to me.  ever.

eau claire, it's really somethin special.


they are precious and i am grateful.