for my cozy bed and the nightstand next to it... all from which i write tonight.
for sleeping at last.. i'm such a fan... also, currently listening.
for dad coming home tonight after being in florida for work... oh, i'd missed him!
for the office.  geesh, i laugh harder at that show than any other show..
for friends that make not being with them a challenge
for nicole.. such a special friend!
for kindness
for swinging on a swing set like a kid at sunset by myself
for basil
for chase
for anna's voice on the phone.  even if only for a minute.
for taking risks
for my car's stereo system
for God being there... that assurance, to call upon in even a moment i didn't feel safe longboarding through the woods.
for the life that God offers
for seeing lucas!  my little bud!
for the word hallelujah and all of the lips that that one word has been uttered from over many years and generations!
for bailey, my longboard.
for these trails i know so well
for sidney
for hunger and how it reminds me that i am human and dependent
for the way music can move me and make me feel
for learning.
for bed time...
for you, dear reader!  for whatever unique piece of God's image you bear.




there is much to be thankful for... let's never forget!

^^^paige

bailey's my new longboard.  she became mine yesterday.  to say i'm pumped is an understatement.  i've wanted one ever since freshman year, but hey those things kinda put a dent in your piggy bank if ya know what i'm sayin!

so i walked into sports' authority yesterday, coupon in hand, determined to find a good pair of new tennis shoes because my old ones had seen their glory days long ago.  but oh those longboards caught my eye!  just to look and dream! (;  but then purchasing one actually became real in my mind when i read the 20% off sign next to them!  so, after five minutes going back and forth in my head, and eventually reveling in the spontaneous adventure-like nature of it all, next thing i knew, she was sitting next to me in my passenger seat, on her way to her new home!

and here's what i've learned so far from longboarding (because you bet your bottom dollar i'm riding every chance i get):

no trying to look cool when your learning.  you're gonna fall.  or ride right into the grass like a noob.

you're gonna fall.  embrace it.  you'll get back up.

you're gonna fall.  but one day you won't.

it's scary sometimes.  it's a risk.  but what glory when you take the risk and go down the hill even though you're scared!

what glory!  crank the cinematic orchestra and fly!  let creation embrace you as you embrace Creator.

...but you might have to say a little prayer of protection over yourself too.. (:

you might be stopped by an old man just standing over his bike in the middle of the path.  talk to him!  he'll tell you about his days trying to sell cigarettes in germany and say "and you will... you're young!" when you explain you're trying to learn to longboard.

(:

in many ways, i want my life to be like riding a longboard.  risk, trust, and a whole lotta beauty!

i came alive!



**and, here, on an unrelated note:  this song that i am listening to over and over!  holland, i think it's from you but i can't remember :/  it makes sense that it would be from you, though, cuz i love it (:

today i attended my very first tea!  isn't that the coolest thing?!  an afternoon tea?  i hope every single person gets to experience a tea at least once!  so fun!  my stellar aunt, kathy, put it all together for the women on my dad's side of the family, and it was extra special because my great aunt shirley is in town from arizona to be with us!

the whole time i just kept thinking how humbling it is to know and be loved by such incredible women.  this afternoon was precious to me and i'm grateful...

grateful for femininity, for kathy's tears when speaking from the heart, for care in all the little details, for flowers and thoughtful questions about my life, and for aunties, great aunties, grandma, cousins, sisters, and mom... and grandpa peaking at us with a cup of coffee in his hand from the window (;  that man!

also grateful that i am apart of a family that puts on tea parties for the sake of blessing the others. 
i hope i grow up to be a woman like these women.

and you betchyer bottom dollar my pinky was up!  a british accent might have slipped in there on occasion too...

pip pip cheerio!

f i f t e e n

q u a l i t y

c h e r i s h e d

s t a i n e d  g l a s s

b e c c a

c u l l a h

y e l l o w

r u n n e r s

g o l d e n

o h  h e l l o

bad attitude
time-outs
late pick up
exhausted
forgetful
rude
four zits
lonely
entitled
empty
missing something
whiney child
those stupid oreos


this is it, folks.  this is what alexi's life looks like when i live inside myself, ignoring and forgetting the great Love to which i have been redeemed by.

this is what my life looks like when i forget that He's dipped me into the waters of His grace, cleaned me, and kissed me on my face.

this is what my life looks like when i live for, by, and to,     myself.

...ugly.

i didn't act like an image-bearer today.

i am really glad that God is God and that i am not.




// called to repentance every day, and a life bigger than just myself.

so i cut my own bangs.  i cut them too much and they're really pretty terrible and i thought i could do them all cool, but i couldn't and now i don't like them at all.  i don't like them, sam i am.  so shoot. #mobangsmoproblems

i have an embarrassing, childish secret:  i have talking-on-the-phone-insecurity.  there, i said it and i hate it.  i hate even writing this.  i don't even know why it's a thing.  so, i'm sorry, dear friend or family member who may have noticed this because i'm often hard to reach.. i promise it's nothing personal!  but it's really something i need to work on. ughh...

lately, lucas has been saying, "wexi, will you hold me?" while following me with his arms in the air in that two-year-old voice and i practically die every time.

i want to love and treat people like my friend, nicole.

the other day, my sister said to me, "how do you do that?  how do you go from singing a worship song one minute to snapping at me a second later?"  because i had literally done that.  that was an ugly moment.  i can't stop thinking about those words.  i think one of my biggest fears is living like that... singing the words of worship and not living them...

i'm really thankful for my parents' relationship & marriage.  as i grow older, i notice that it has consistently been a solid rock and example that i turn to.  that's really a gift.  without it, i think i'd be scared of marriage.

i'm really learning that God is faithful these days.  i know that statement sounds cliché, but it's kind of blowing my mind in a new way.  also, that He's not done with me, and that He's not actually mad at me all the time.  i'm learning to not live in condemnation, but to live in freedom and joy.  and as He's changing my thinking, i notice i become lighter!

i miss becca.

i always go through phases with food.  the one i'm really into now is kashi autumn wheat cereal with coconut milk in a mug.  had it for breakfast and dinner yesterday and for dinner again tonight.  and honestly, the only thing stoppin me from making it the only thing i eat is not being home for the rest of the meals.

my music of choice lately: christian rap & gospel music.  just gimme that kirk franklin, andy mineo, beautiful eulogy, israel houghton!

i can't stop thinking about this verse:  "she gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "i have now seen the One who sees me." (genesis 16:13)

fresh air and sunshine make me come alive!  seriously!  if ever there's a day you're feeling drained of joy, go outside!  move your body and spend time with the Creator in His creation!  good for the soul.  it feels like life is breathed back into me when i do.   ... and it may or may not result in the above range of emotions (:

okay, i'm done. (:

^^^ my favorite part of the fourth was when my sisters and i spotted fake decorative loons at my grandparents' little cabin.  haha.. we just loved em!  so tacky and classic cheesy cabin décor!  so naturally we snuck past grandma to take awkward pictures with them while she was taking to our mom and we kept saying "act like it's no big deal... it's casual!" to each other while we had those fake ducks behind our backs so grandma couldn't see and then sprinted away (:  we laughed a lot haha!

^^^ lil nugs.. and they say they don't look alike (; ^^^

on the day of the fourth, the weather was kind of a big bummer, with rain while we were sitting outside.  but on the day after, i spent sometime staring up at this sight and it was pretty surreal..  it had quite a way of making me feel small and making me think how God must love us to be so huge but know us so intricately.

that golden hour!

happy birthday, america!

there really are no words to convey the gratitude i feel for knowing the freedom and safety i do living in this country.  i know it has come with many costs and this freedom is never something i want to take for granted.  it's really great that we have this day every year to remember the beauty of our home.

pshhhhh kirk franklin errrryyyy dayyyy! (;

just groovin in the kitchen by myself... it's fine.

"brighter day brighter day brighter day! don't be scurrred, come & clap yo hands!"