bedtime thoughts with lex

...becca and holland are coming to sleepover and spend time with me this weekend and that had to be the first thing i said here because i'm so excited and touched by their love that i'm actually welling up as i type this.

...old navy had a 50% off sale that ended tonight and it took so much to not turn my car in that direction after work!  phew.  trying to be more mindful of my budget these days and what i need and don't need.  before you commend my self-control, last week i definitely bought a top and cardigan and stupid $7 face cream that i didn't need from target... oof.  

...do you guys ever receive compliments from people and think that the person giving the compliment must be talking about someone else because they cannot possibly be talking about you?  that happens to me rather frequently. this isn't a note trying to solicit some kind word from you or false humility, i actually regularly wonder why people love me so much or find my presence so compelling.  and sometimes am genuinely baffled that significant words of love and affection could be referring to me.  i guess i just don't get it sometimes.  haha, i know it sounds sad, it's really not!  i'm not sad about it!  just mostly wondering if anyone else feels that.  and it really makes me all the more thankful for the love and kindness shown to me.  and it causes me to be more in awe and admiration of the people who truly know my good, bad, and ugly and still can say such things.

...i think my coworkers are wonderful.  i love the people i work with.  especially vic.  i still can't believe i get to work with her.  what?!  it's amazing!

...i need to think of people more.  you know how we all need regular heart checks to snap us back on track and reroute our wandering hearts to Jesus again, etc. etc.?  well one of my things that's come up lately is thinking about myself waayyy too much.  just an embarrassing amount.  so much that i forget to remember things other people tell me about their lives or needs.  i'm really frustrated at that.

...i don't know if you'll remember but a little bit ago i mentioned i was having a hard time swallowing some of the old testament and what i was seeing about God and how He seemed different from how i thought He should be.  i still feel that way a bit, but am thankful i kept reading.  He's more than i imagined. 

...meghan marek is such a gift, i can't even begin to tell you.  i can't explain her impact on my life or how her friendship and love has touched my heart.  just have to say that.  also, she's one of the wisest people i know.  i don't ever use that word lightly, either.  i'm consistently surprised by the depth of her!

...i'm rereading the magician's nephew, mostly so i could read the part about how aslan created narnia from nothing with a song.  i needed that story this past week.  sadness, cloudiness, low-liness, can sometimes hit out of the blue with no one huge reason, and a random day every so often hits me hard and narnia is necessary.

i don't know, there's probably more on my mind, but these are bedtime thoughts after all, and lexi lex is a big fan of bedtime, so GOODNIGHT, FRIENDS!  i'm so thankful that you would care about what i have to say here.  peace to you tonight.