except i have this not-so-good habit of getting really invested into movies sometimes. i want the characters to be real and i feel all of the things with them. the whole time i kept thinking.. i want to be like maria & i want to know maria. i mean come on! she brought singing back into the family and the family could never be the same again without her! she loved the children so well and was honorable and had integrity with the captain and she wanted to serve God more than anything and she was noble and brave and kind... just enchanting and lovely, not to mention young and thin and beautiful! but then after i did a google search about julie andrews (wow, this post is getting more & more embarrassing isn't it, ha!) because i wanted to know what she was like in real life, and one of the first quotes that came up was "i don't want to be thought of as wholesome."
i'd be lying if i said my heart didn't sink a little when i read that, because it did. i guess i excpected julie andrews to be just like maria. i know i don't know julie andrews, and i'm sure she's lovely, but she isn't maria. because maria doesn't exist. i was putting this character on a pedestal. one only a character in a movie could fit, not one a real-life, breathing, broken-human-being-like-everybody-else could fit. not that there aren't women and men with characteristics like maria worth admiring (i definitely know many of these women and men! lucky me!) but perfect maria isn't real and when i found out the truth about real-life maria, i was let down. because that's what real people do. they let you down. they aren't all shiny and kind and graceful all the time. and we'll let people down, too. because we all are broken and make mistakes and say things we don't mean and borrow clothes without asking and pick the biggest piece of pizza for ourselves. this might sound so odd & negative & unkind, and i don't intend to be scrooge-y but the fact of the matter is, people will let you down. especially the ones you love the most. i've seen it over and over in my own life because i have the terribly unfair habit of placing people on those pedestals they were never meant to stand on. just think how you'd feel if you were on that pedestal in someone else's eyes... probably some uncomfortable pressure to rise to it and be that person who fits up there, when none of us do. that band you love and that person you follow on instagram and that celebrity with the hot bod (; and the blogger that seems to have a life wrapped with a shiny bow... well, they're people. and they'd let you down, too, if they did the day-to-day sandwich-for-lunch, working-late, pooping-in-the-toilet, losing-the-keys-again, cranky-because-of-a-stomach-ache life with you. that's why i have such an issue with so many chick-flicks. because it seems the only job of those movies is to build up pedestals for real-life men to climb based upon fake men that can climb them easily because, well, they're fake.
i used to fall into building up castles in my head because of those movies, too. & i'm preaching to myself with all of this. recently i've felt conviction about how i fall over and over again into looking at people on instagram and wishing i were her or had that hubby she has or were going on that adventure they are going on, and on and on and on. it's something that'll getchya if you're not careful and we need to use social media in a way that is healthy & good (if that is even possible, i don't know. i'm becoming less and less convinced.) so, i'd charge you to look at your own heart in these matters with me.
you might be thinking, "well, gosh, is there anyone i can count on then? is there anyone who won't let me down?" i've thought that before and find again and again that the answer is YES! there is someone you can count on! and only one someone who is safe to try to be like and you won't be disappointed. and His name is Jesus. (okay, i know this sounds so corny and churchy but it's the truest thing i know!) You can count on Jesus. (this is not to say that He will fit everything you think in your head God should be like, because then you're God, telling Him how He should be) i mean He won't leave you, He won't say something without thinking, or be careless with your heart, or say He's a certain way and then find out that He lied, He won't turn His back, won't steal from you or act in a way that is not in love. He just won't and He's proved Himself trustworthy time and time again. not just in my life, but in the lives of our forefathers and foremothers and their forefathers and foremothers! this is something i am increasingly thankful for, that He can be counted on. because then He takes His fitting and rightful place on the pedestal and people come down from where i put them and stand next to me, allowed to be human with me. the other day i was so mad at myself because i was so nervous to meet someone i only knew from a distance, because how silly! i found this quote a while ago and i've held onto it because i think it's so right... "people are just people, they shouldn't make you nervous."
**p.s. i am very aware that the von trapp family actors from the sound of music portray real people, but from what i've read on that, too, real-maria was still not maria as she was in the sound of music.
(**disclaimer: i am not saying humans are incapable of good or love or selflessness, of course, or that God is stuffy and stays on a pedestal, incapable of understanding our humanness! we of course can love each other really well, and God very much is not a statue up there while we try to be like Him.)