this is why i cannot help but question the view i've heard bandied about with such impunity: 'it's okay to be angry with God.'
really? are you sure?
i'm not so certain. in fact, i think i was in a dangerous place when my heart was raging against Him, my soul teetering precariously close to the edge of that deadly cliff of rebellion. crazy things happen when we willfully push away from the love of God, things that leave wounds and scars that can last a lifetime - mistakes, misjudgments, misery. much like a child who inadvertently injures himself in a fit of momentary temper, i was working myself into a fury that could have caused irreparable harm.
that God can handle my anger, i have no doubt. the problem, i have come to believe, is not with God, but with us.
our souls are not strong enough to withstand the gale-force winds of intense and sustained anger. the roof is blown off, boundaries are broken, we are exposed to our own shocking ugliness. when that still, small voice of reason questions the rightness of our anger, we raise the volume, and sometimes we can't stop.
the spark that fueled my anger was intense self-absorption, which led to self-pity. and self-pity, i have learned, is a sin that keeps us away from God.
...self-pity is subtle and circuitous. self-pity slips into relationships, strangling goodwill and preventing grace.
...i believe that most of the self-prefixed words cause me to slide into sin: self-defensiveness, self-centeredness, selfishness, self-protectiveness, self-promotion. any time i make my self the object of my (and everyone else's) primary concern, i am setting myself against God."
- diane comer, He speaks in the silence, pages 98 & 99