this is just a bubblin little thought, not finished and with no clean bow to tie it up, based on something i've picked up on probably for a while. how freakin often i say sorry, and how freakin often i hear the women around me say sorry. "oh sorry" after needing to back up and try parking again, "sorry" after asking my friends if i could take a picture of them... *lolz, my biggest offense,* "but we can do anything! ...but we don't have to!" after naming the thing i'd like to do, "sorry for talking so much" after spending some time sharing, sometimes i even hear women say "sorry" before they start speaking! "sorry, just a quick thing..." why don't we all just start apologizing for breathing someone else's air, huh?! geez. GEEEEZ. it's nuts.
not sure what the deal is here. i'd hate to make some grand statement about men and women without more than what i've observed in my circles. i am also not a man, so i don't know if men feel the same impulse or if they notice anything similar among other men. but why are women so prone to apologizing?! i have the thought that maybe it has to do with thinking it's polite and courteous and shows we acknowledge other people? but where did the thinking that to acknowledge other people we need to apologize for what we do and say and think and feel come from?! this is the part i have to leave in loose ends because i don't have an answer. maybe it's ingrained in us from somewhere.. maybe from our moms and their moms. maybe it's the message we're buying from social norms and the culture we live in. i really don't know.
all i know is, i get mad at myself for how much i do it. which is funny, because sometimes i laugh when other women are apologizing to me for practically breathing and i have to say, "what are you sorry for?! stop being sorry!" ha, i can hear holland's voice right now... "alexi! stop being sorry!"
well, gosh darn it, i want to stop being sorry! (of course, excluding the offensive and hurtful instances in which asking for forgiveness is necessary, good, and healing). this desire to stop apologizing feels daunting to me. daunting because i don't think i realized how ingrained it is in me. it's become a reaction, a habit, and will take quite a bit of work and unlearning this thing in me, wherever it is, that says i'm being inconsiderate or impolite if i don't apologize for stating my opinion decidedly, confidently. if i don't apologize for inconveniencing someone in their time. that thing that's telling me needing someone's time, using up any of it, is an inconvenience. on the other end i NEVER, ever, see a friend sharing their heart, opinions, perspective... needing to fix their parking... needing a minute to talk to me or ask me something... telling me what they want to do... as an inconvenience. and i'm guessing that's the way my friends feel about me so why am i sorry?
any thoughts you guys? why are we so sorry??
not sure what the deal is here. i'd hate to make some grand statement about men and women without more than what i've observed in my circles. i am also not a man, so i don't know if men feel the same impulse or if they notice anything similar among other men. but why are women so prone to apologizing?! i have the thought that maybe it has to do with thinking it's polite and courteous and shows we acknowledge other people? but where did the thinking that to acknowledge other people we need to apologize for what we do and say and think and feel come from?! this is the part i have to leave in loose ends because i don't have an answer. maybe it's ingrained in us from somewhere.. maybe from our moms and their moms. maybe it's the message we're buying from social norms and the culture we live in. i really don't know.
all i know is, i get mad at myself for how much i do it. which is funny, because sometimes i laugh when other women are apologizing to me for practically breathing and i have to say, "what are you sorry for?! stop being sorry!" ha, i can hear holland's voice right now... "alexi! stop being sorry!"
well, gosh darn it, i want to stop being sorry! (of course, excluding the offensive and hurtful instances in which asking for forgiveness is necessary, good, and healing). this desire to stop apologizing feels daunting to me. daunting because i don't think i realized how ingrained it is in me. it's become a reaction, a habit, and will take quite a bit of work and unlearning this thing in me, wherever it is, that says i'm being inconsiderate or impolite if i don't apologize for stating my opinion decidedly, confidently. if i don't apologize for inconveniencing someone in their time. that thing that's telling me needing someone's time, using up any of it, is an inconvenience. on the other end i NEVER, ever, see a friend sharing their heart, opinions, perspective... needing to fix their parking... needing a minute to talk to me or ask me something... telling me what they want to do... as an inconvenience. and i'm guessing that's the way my friends feel about me so why am i sorry?
any thoughts you guys? why are we so sorry??
picked this pic because it looks like i might be sayin sorry (;
...or sleepin? ewww, why are my lips like that?
...or sleepin? ewww, why are my lips like that?
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