lately, i've been thinkin a lot about self-worth and beauty and such. as a child of God, the One who calls me (and you!) dearly loved, it makes sense that the understanding of myself would be so grounded in that, that i would exude some kind of engulfing confidence and firmness in my identity at all times but the fact is, it's not. i still live in the world and am exposed to all of the things anyone else is that make me feel not so. in fact, this has been a major area of struggle in my life. i have days where i do not feel beautiful or good or loved at all and my self-worth suffers a major blow. on days like those, i want to learn how to know, deep down to my core, that i am beautiful and loved and cherished without looking for it anywhere but at the feet of Jesus. and honestly, it is so hard not to look in a place that is not the LORD. this has resulted in unhealthy perceptions of myself. either i really don't like myself in ways that are hurtful to God, or i think i'm some hot stuff, way too big for my britches (don't even know what my britches are, but i guess i have em! ha) in prideful, scary ways. as i navigate through life, i want to figure out how to see myself every day in a way that honors my Maker, in regards to every part of who i am, and my beauty, personality, gifts, weaknesses, et cetera. i think as i get older, i am learning more and more what is healthy but to be quite honest with you, i don't know how to view myself most days. this is a process and i'm learning.
after talking with friends about my pondering about all of this, i've realized to an overwhelming degree that i'm not alone in my thoughts. this self-worth issue might be a human thing. and in my psychology of women class, i just learned how the typical girl develops terrible self-image and self-worth at the young middle school ages and this carries over into adulthood. this made me so sad you guys, and mad too. i don't think any of us really understand how many people struggle with low self-worth, of feeling ugly or not beautiful or worth anything. of feeling like they have nothing to say, are not talented, not funny, too loud, too quiet, unapproachable, awkward, and and and... i guess i really cannot speak to the male population in this area as much, but among women, i know most women are really, really hard on themselves in terribly heartbreaking ways. ways most of us do not even realize. i would guess it's similar for men. this issue of self-worth is big and important. and after talking with afton, i am even more convinced that a lot of this has to do with our sin in disbelief. disbelief of who God says we are.
in this topic, i kind of think that solomon was onto something when he wrote "gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones" (proverbs 16:24). it's an honor as children of God, brothers and sisters of one another, that we get to know the truth about who we are and Who made us and have the ability to call out that truth, especially in others when they forget. as the LORD's children and representatives on earth, made in the image of holy, beautiful God, we bear His very image! He used His hands and formed us from dust, He breathed in our nostrils the breath of life, nurtures and takes care of us, and declares His love over us, rejoicing over us with singing! so we can tell friends and strangers they're lovely and beautiful and handsome and well-made and kind and smart and creative and talented and brave and good... in ways that are specific to what unique qualities God has thought up & wanted to be reflected in them. i want to challenge us to practice patience with one another and patience with ourselves. i want to dare you to wake up every day this week and declare yourself as loved, as made well, uniquely and preciously, and to think that about the people around. our lives are breaths and then they're gone so let's suck all of the beauty from them while we're here and then we'll be with our LORD forever, and we won't have to learn how to love ourselves. we'll know because we will be wholly and entirely with Love itself forever.
after talking with friends about my pondering about all of this, i've realized to an overwhelming degree that i'm not alone in my thoughts. this self-worth issue might be a human thing. and in my psychology of women class, i just learned how the typical girl develops terrible self-image and self-worth at the young middle school ages and this carries over into adulthood. this made me so sad you guys, and mad too. i don't think any of us really understand how many people struggle with low self-worth, of feeling ugly or not beautiful or worth anything. of feeling like they have nothing to say, are not talented, not funny, too loud, too quiet, unapproachable, awkward, and and and... i guess i really cannot speak to the male population in this area as much, but among women, i know most women are really, really hard on themselves in terribly heartbreaking ways. ways most of us do not even realize. i would guess it's similar for men. this issue of self-worth is big and important. and after talking with afton, i am even more convinced that a lot of this has to do with our sin in disbelief. disbelief of who God says we are.
in this topic, i kind of think that solomon was onto something when he wrote "gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones" (proverbs 16:24). it's an honor as children of God, brothers and sisters of one another, that we get to know the truth about who we are and Who made us and have the ability to call out that truth, especially in others when they forget. as the LORD's children and representatives on earth, made in the image of holy, beautiful God, we bear His very image! He used His hands and formed us from dust, He breathed in our nostrils the breath of life, nurtures and takes care of us, and declares His love over us, rejoicing over us with singing! so we can tell friends and strangers they're lovely and beautiful and handsome and well-made and kind and smart and creative and talented and brave and good... in ways that are specific to what unique qualities God has thought up & wanted to be reflected in them. i want to challenge us to practice patience with one another and patience with ourselves. i want to dare you to wake up every day this week and declare yourself as loved, as made well, uniquely and preciously, and to think that about the people around. our lives are breaths and then they're gone so let's suck all of the beauty from them while we're here and then we'll be with our LORD forever, and we won't have to learn how to love ourselves. we'll know because we will be wholly and entirely with Love itself forever.
thanks for bearing with me & all of my jumbly, spattery thoughts... here's just a couple pics to remind you that the One who made the sun, the glorious sun, made you.
i mean...
i mean...
something i like to redirect myself to when i think about beauty is exodus 34. when moses entered the presence of the LORD, he would remove the veil from his face and he would speak with Him as a friend, and when he left the LORD's presence, it says "he was not aware that his face was radiant because he has spoken with the LORD" (v. 29).
wow...how beautiful! let's make that our goal for beauty!
wow...how beautiful! let's make that our goal for beauty!
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