ugh, today has been hard. i've felt just really unsettled inside and kind of like a loser in pretty much every way. & just really lonely. all of my dearest friendships are far away and that bums me out and i'm the worst at calling them. i'm really not great at knowing how to spend my unplanned free time and that can give me anxiety and i've felt extra touchy and irritable and i don't know. sharing this because i share my joys here so i want to share my blahhhhhs. this isn't even a down, it's just nothing. a big gray blob of a day. haha. i'm fine, i'm just weird and down today. plus i think i'd love if i read this from someone else so i could say "uh huh, me too, sister, thank you and that sucks" so maybe someone else can love that i'm just layin down all the crap today. also, since i'm already layin it all out here let me just also add that i joined match.com and it's going gr8. and what i meant when i said it's going great is i hate it and think it's stupid and no, stonedloner, i don't text. haha! ...that was really someone's username... stoned loner. it's fine. i like don't want it to be sunny, i just want it to rain so the day matches how i feel. haha. i feel like watching parks and rec so i can think about leslie knope's life and live through her friendships, but that feels sorta escapist to me and not the healthiest so i'll probs read my Bible because i'm two days behind in my reading plan anyway. feelin like the world's #1 noob today. thank goodness i know Jesus loves me and even likes me because otherwise this post might be a little embarrassing! dodged a bullet there. (; and here's a couple melodramatic pics for ya! on this blog i really try to provide a multimedia experience for the reader (;
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"aslan, aslan. dear aslan,” sobbed lucy. “at last.”
c.s. lewis B L O G A R C H I V E
November 2020
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