i recently listened to a podcast and this guy said a few things i've been chewing on since. he told a little story about himself as a freshman in college 20 years ago, on the phone with his dad. he was contemplating some decision and they were talking about it. his dad simply said, "you make good decisions." looking back on that time of life, this guy didn't totally agree, but remembers walking around his dorm room differently after the conversation... confidently. thinking, huh, i make good decisions! yeah! and it shaped his thinking about himself and his ability to approach decisions, believing what his dad said about him was true.
he also mentioned this somewhat famous study that was done in a school where these kids were all given a test and afterwards, random ones and their parents/teachers were told that those random students had a "genius gene" and were on the brink of leaps and bounds in all of their scoring/IQs. now none of it was true, but the predicted leaps actually happened. the teachers started paying a little more attention to these particular students... started telling them knowingly, "you definitely will understand this even if you don't yet." the students crazily started believing they were everything these experimenters had said they were, and performed as such.
i thought these were just neat little anecdotes until this weekend they kind of all came together for me when my roommate made a comment about how i am perceptive of other people/ the inner workings of people and why they do what they do. that was such a huge compliment to me and i started walking around a little differently after that, too, like this guy in that previous story. now i'm thinkin i've got everything all figured out and am all perceptive of other people and know their inner workings and insecurities and what makes them tick. (; no, not really, but i truly started to see myself as an insightful and perceptive person where i otherwise might not have. i now believe that to be true about myself.
so all of this to say, words, man! WORDS. i want to, and let's all, seriously, strive to cause others to walk confidently in something they might not even be aware is true of them. let's observe each other's strengths closely and tell them what we see and believe in each other, like the dad on the phone with his noobie son who might not've even made good decisions yet... let's see and call out the potential in each other. like, you're smart and you always have the right thing to say and you make everything funnier when you laugh and you're a good driver and i trust you and you're really good at what you do, etc etc! ughh, man, the confidence words like that can pull out of people! i love that. i want to make all of you believe you're lovely and loved and worth my time and good at things. don't you??
let's do it.
** (and of course using wisdom in the words we say to each other, that they really are true and helpful things, because i strongly feel that words also have the reverse effect).
k readyyyyy, BREAK!
he also mentioned this somewhat famous study that was done in a school where these kids were all given a test and afterwards, random ones and their parents/teachers were told that those random students had a "genius gene" and were on the brink of leaps and bounds in all of their scoring/IQs. now none of it was true, but the predicted leaps actually happened. the teachers started paying a little more attention to these particular students... started telling them knowingly, "you definitely will understand this even if you don't yet." the students crazily started believing they were everything these experimenters had said they were, and performed as such.
i thought these were just neat little anecdotes until this weekend they kind of all came together for me when my roommate made a comment about how i am perceptive of other people/ the inner workings of people and why they do what they do. that was such a huge compliment to me and i started walking around a little differently after that, too, like this guy in that previous story. now i'm thinkin i've got everything all figured out and am all perceptive of other people and know their inner workings and insecurities and what makes them tick. (; no, not really, but i truly started to see myself as an insightful and perceptive person where i otherwise might not have. i now believe that to be true about myself.
so all of this to say, words, man! WORDS. i want to, and let's all, seriously, strive to cause others to walk confidently in something they might not even be aware is true of them. let's observe each other's strengths closely and tell them what we see and believe in each other, like the dad on the phone with his noobie son who might not've even made good decisions yet... let's see and call out the potential in each other. like, you're smart and you always have the right thing to say and you make everything funnier when you laugh and you're a good driver and i trust you and you're really good at what you do, etc etc! ughh, man, the confidence words like that can pull out of people! i love that. i want to make all of you believe you're lovely and loved and worth my time and good at things. don't you??
let's do it.
** (and of course using wisdom in the words we say to each other, that they really are true and helpful things, because i strongly feel that words also have the reverse effect).
k readyyyyy, BREAK!
